Meeting new people through mutual friends is so ’99. The Internet has thought up tons of ways to put you in uncomfortable situations. There are all levels of sites, boring and scandalous, that help you meet new people. I find Meetup.com as great way to organize doing something fun with a group of new people in a casual, I only half expect you to be my new best friend, environment. Here are some of the events I want to organize. Would you come?
You Aren’t Drinking Alone, Alone
Just click “Attending” and join the group as we each finish a bottle of wine from 7-8:45 on weekdays, separately, in our own apartments. Enjoy not having to put on pants to go out drinking, but knowing that you aren’t technically drinking “alone.”
Someone to Split a Bagel With
We’ll meet-up and exchange numbers. The next time that one bagel seems like too much, you can call the closest person.
This group is for attractive, fit men with good personalities. Each week a new bar within walking distance of my apartment will be selected as the destination. This bar may or may not have any type of special and may just be a pizza-by-the-slice place. Once gathered, y’all can socialize or whatever, but the main thing is just to show-up and stay put. At some point, I might appear and not get too nervous to leave.
Baked Goods Exchange
Eating all that pie you made sure would be fun, but the sit-ups won’t be. We like to meet-up and trade baked goods. This gives you a more tangible reason to be making 40 ginger snaps on a Friday night. Also, you get to try other peoples’ confections and disguise the sweets in your home as a gift.
Crafters Against Paying for Things
For this get-together, crafty types will converge on an unsuspecting tearoom and teach skills. You will pre-register with what type of craft you can share. Groups will be formed based off skill, so everyone attending can learn something new. It will be exactly like a workshop, but I won’t have to pay you for teaching me to screen-print. Someone who can make those cross-stitch samplers with dirty words, preferred.
Hey, it’s cool, I need to get shit up my stairs too. You help me move my desk; I’ll help you move your mattress. Then we’ll eat popcorn.
Netflix Dating Meetup
This isn’t your regular speed dating. Each attendee will submit their Netflix account and be categorized by what type of movies they enjoy. Upon arriving you will be matched with three others that love “Emotional, Coming of Age Films with a Strong Female Lead” or “Understated Foreign Dramas” as much as you do. You are also allowed to come, scan the room, and run like hell.